Quotes from the book. To feel more.

Desire to grow up as a teenager

I have never hated anything as much as I hated being a teenager. I could not have been more ill-suited to the state of adolescence. I was desperate to be an adult; desperate to be taken seriously. I hated relying on anyone for anything. I’d have sooner cleaned floors than be given pocket money or walked three miles in the rain at night than be given a lift home by a parent. […] I wanted my own friends, my own schedule, my own home, my own money and my own life. I found being a teenager one big, frustrating, mortifying, exposing, co-dependent embarrassment that couldn’t end fast enough.

(pp. 32-33). Kindle Edition.

On breakups

I felt our relationship had been one of the most enriching experiences of my life and I knew he would always be a huge part of the person I had become, but we had outgrown each other. I knew I had to let him go so he could be with someone who really wanted to be in a relationship with all the love and commitment he deserved.

(p. 97). Kindle Edition.

It was at this time that I was reminded of the chain of support that keeps a sufferer afloat – the person at the core of a crisis needs the support of their family and best friends, while those people need support from their friends, partners and family. Then even those people twice removed might need to talk to someone about it too. It takes a village to mend a broken heart.

(p. 232). Kindle Edition.

He told me that he was a few weeks out of a very long-term relationship. He said it was the right thing – an amicable and mutual separation. He told me that sometimes a break-up can be nothing but a relief for both parties; like an air-conditioning unit has finally been turned off, the low, relentless hum of which you hadn’t realized was there until everything is silent.

(p. 246). Kindle Edition.

Break-ups get harder with every year you get older. When you’re young, you lose a boyfriend. As you get older, you lose a life together.

(p. 293). Kindle Edition.

There is no feeling as awful as breaking up with someone.

(p. 294). Kindle Edition.

Best friend moving out to live with their fiance

‘Do you want to bake chocolate chip cookies?’ Farly said when we got back to our house.

‘Yeah.’

‘Great. Make a list of what we need and I’ll go get the ingredients. And why don’t we watch that Joni Mitchell documentary that’s been sitting on the shelf for ages?’

‘Sure,’ I said. It reminded me of the time my mum took me to McDonald’s when I was eight after my goldfish died.

(p. 123). Kindle Edition.

After the death of a friend

We walked home in the beautiful light and I felt grateful for Florence’s life and everything she had taught me. I was grateful for the sun on Kew Bridge as I placed each foot in front of the other. I was grateful for understanding in that moment that life can really be as simple as just breathing in and out. And I was thankful to know what it was to love the person walking next to me as much as I did. So deeply, so furiously. So impossibly.

(p. 193). Kindle Edition.

Life without the need to date someone

Two months passed. I discovered what it was to go to a wedding and actually be there to witness your friends getting married, rather than treating it like an eight-hour meat market. I found out what it was like to enjoy the beautiful, bell-like sound of a choir singing in church, and not manically scan the pews, checking the fingers of all the men to work out which were unmarried. I learnt how to enjoy the conversation of a man next to me at dinner regardless of his marital status; to resist fighting for the attention of the only single man at the table by saying something inappropriate in a vaguely threatening tone of Sid James bawdiness. I saw Leo for the

(p. 271). Kindle Edition.

28 life lessons

(5.) Life is a wonderful, mesmerizing, magical, fun, silly thing. And humans are astounding. We all know we’re going to die, and yet we still live. We shout and curse and care when the full bin bag breaks, yet with every minute that passes we edge closer to the end. We marvel at a nectarine sunset over the M25 or the smell of a baby’s head or the efficiency of flat-pack furniture, even though we know that everyone we love will cease to exist one day. I don’t know how we do it.

(p. 276). Kindle Edition.

(14.) Everyone should own a Paul Simon album, a William Boyd book and a Wes Anderson film. If those are the only three things you have on your shelf, you will get through the longest, coldest, loneliest night.

(p. 278). Kindle Edition.

(17.) Let people laugh at you. Let yourself be a tit. Pronounce things wrong. Spill yoghurt down your shirt. It is the greatest relief to finally let it happen.

(p. 278). Kindle Edition.

(22.) Gender, age and size regardless: everyone looks good in a white shirt or a thick polo neck or brown leather boots or a denim jacket or a navy pea coat.

(p. 279). Kindle Edition.

(25.) If you’re feeling wildly overwhelmed with everything, try this: clean your room, answer all your unanswered emails, listen to a podcast, have a bath, go to bed before eleven.

(p. 279). Kindle Edition.

The perfect man

The perfect man is kind, funny and generous. He bends down to say hello to dogs and puts up shelves. Looking like a tall Jewish pirate with Clive Owen’s eyes and David Gandy’s biceps should be an added bonus and not a starting point.

(p. 294). Kindle Edition.

P/S

I read this book during Dec-Jan. The reason I started it was because a guy on Instagram said it should be read by people who are going through a break up, that ‘you cannot go wrong with it.’ I did not.

I like how it is not entirely about love, but instead echoes my frustrations in all aspects of life when entering adulhood. I like to see a love veteran falling in and out of love, then reflecting on those. I like how she throws random things into the books, like situational cooking recipes (e.g., ‘Recipe: Hangover Mac and Cheese’), random lists that make sense (e.g., ‘The Most Annoying Things People Say’), or ridiculous emails that she imagine writing.

Grab this book if you want to add some flavors to your perceptions about dating, love, friendships, and adulthood.