The loneliness paradox is the following:

One can feel lonely even when their “closest” people are “around.”

People can seem “close” to you. But they may not understand you and you may not understand them.

People may be “around” you. But would you truly feel surrounded?

Why?

Maybe, what can make someone deeply lonely is the fact that they cannot pour their mind and heart out to someone else. There is a powerful relief when one chats with their beloved ones. The more intricate the sharings are, the better they feel afterwards.

Even if there is no one to understand you, you still have yourself. Isn’t inner intimacy enough? This is a good clue to move forward. One will not feel surrounded regardless of who the other person is if they cannot surround themselves.

That’s why…

Maybe that’s why people write and share (e.g. blogging) - it helps them be heard by people who are interested in their thoughts, even though they never talk.

Maybe that’s why people share things on social media - it has similar effects as blogging. However, the audience is now controlled, and people who don’t care will also see it due to the design of the platforms.

I have a friend who I met shortly. There, he was with his girlfriend and his best friend. However, he shared with me that he often felt “extremely lonely” in life, even with their presences. As one of the most spiritual people I’ve ever met, maybe he has too many intricate thoughts that can’t be verbalized in a trustworthy way to his friends. He became lonely in his own universe.

The way out?

Is in.