A Little Life (100%)

This book has ended with an expected sadness.

what the book’s about

• It tells a life story from after college till the death in his 60 of Jude St. Francis – mostly from his perspective – and a few years after that – from his godfather’s perspective.
• That life is, at core, miserable. At times in his life, dying and living seem to be equally bad options.
• That life gradually attracts money, power, and even authentic relationships. Also, with that money, he had the potential to be very physically healthy. All of those are propably the common expectations of a good life. But mentally, there’s always a horrible past of being physically and sexually abused that has forever ruined his ability to enjoy life. He was almost dead inside from those years in the monastery.

the emotions the book gives

As with other books, I usually read this book when I was on bed, about to fall asleep. I was almost 3 years a go when I saw my friends on Goodreads want-to-read and read it.

It is a very long book for me because I don’t often skim when reading this one. I found the writing very deep, and each word was carefully chosen, so I wanted to enjoy it. That’s why it’s been taking me so long to finish it.

Almost everytime I read it, I feel sad. There are times where the stories are fun and positive, but those funs feel like the small sparkles of fires in a very long and cold night in the life of Jude. Especially, when Jude cut himself, I felt tinkling pain throughout my body.

I also felt it very interesting when I came to Greene Street, the place where Jude lived for the most of his life in New York. The street was crowded, bugi, and busy. That is so different from the life of Jude depicted in the book, very painful and lonely. I remember someone from Google Maps put a review on the Greene Street, saying “Jude, it will get better. I promise.”

There are many times when the book made me think about how unexciting life can be, not in a depressing way, but in a way that makes you become realistic about your expecetations in life. In someone’s life, they may have to cut their calves, see their lover die, go through destructive childhoold experiences (sexual and physical abuse), and feel so depressed. A friend of mine said that they don’t like how helpless Jude is depicted – people usually have more free will in real life. But I think the book is still a good reminder of how life can be so hard and how we should be grateful for what we have.